some guy (self) wrote,
some guy
self

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Architecture by Tarzan

This conversation just cracked me up.
    self: ...I'd give him the change, but he'd only eat it.
    ego: Stupid kid. There's no nutrition in that.
    self: Don't knock it - that's all I ate through so many years of school.
    ego: This explains a lot.
    self: I asked for food, the parents gave me lunch money. What was I supposed to do?
    ego: Buy lunch?
    self: Oh yeah, huh.
    ego: At least they didn't give you a lunch monkey.
    self: I would have killed for a lunch monkey! All the other kids had one.
    ego: Really?
    self: Sure. The cafeteria was up in a tree. If you couldn't climb, you sent your lunch monkey.
    ego: And it would get your lunch for you?
    self: Not me. I never had one.
    ego: That sucks.
    self: Yeah.
Later on, we reminisced about the TV commercials.
      teacher: Aren't you going to get your lunch?
      student: But the cafeteria's so high up!
      teacher: Tell me about it. I have to swim through the snake pit every day to get my coffee.
      student: I'm so hungry...
      teacher: Yeah, looks like you're screwed.
      (The boy's companion, a cartoon monkey, clamors for attention)
      monkey: Aren't you forgetting something?
      student: Lunch Monkey!
      (The monkey scurries up the tree, and returns with a heaping tray of goodness. He has, of course, selected a nice banana for himself.)
      student: Thank you, Lunch Monkey!
      (teacher and monkey wink conspiratorially at the camera for no apparent reason)
The subject came up one final time, as well.
    self: ...and they'd always run that commercial during my favorite shows, just to mock me.
    ego: They were trying to advertize their product. Not everything's about you, you know..
    self: Then why'd the president of the station call first every time to make sure I was watching?
    ego: That is kind of strange...
    self: To this day, that commercial haunts me. "Thank you, Lunch Monkey!"
    ego: Right.
    self: Even so, you should probably buy one for your son when he starts school.
    ego: I don't think they make them anymore.
    self: Why not?
    ego: The monkeys started throwing feces at people. PR nightmare.
    self: Great. How are kids supposed to get their food down now?
    ego: The old way, I guess.
    self: Hydrolics?
    ego: Yes.
...and there you have it.
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