some guy (self) wrote,
some guy

  • Mood:

Humanity catches up with me, and then falls behind again

Hey. I haven't posted anything publicly in a while. Privately, I've put up quite a few half-finished thoughts that I'll probably explore further and post for you someday, but for all intents and purposes, I haven't posted. Sorry about that.

So, what's been going on?

I'm not sure, really.

I went through a few weeks of just being very hungry for no earthly reason. It didn't seem to matter how much or how often I ate, my body needed more. Now, this is doubly strange because for most of my life, I've experienced no hunger. Meaning, I forget to eat if no one reminds me, sometimes for days.

That same span of time, I had vivid dreams every night and remembered them the next morning. Again, completely abnormal for me. I'm not going to say I never dream, but that's the way it seems from my perspective. If it happens, I don't remember it. Except for recently.

And then, both things stopped.

What changed? Well, I started treating myself as though sick - sleeping more, avoiding heavy activity, and being more diligent about taking my vitamin supplements. If I was actually malnourished and consumed by stress, this would seem to have fixed it.

I like my other theory better, though: I was possessed, and thus eating for two. But then I didn't do anything all week, and thus bored the parasite entity to death.

Of course, now that I am back to normal, I find myself fighting off illness. Go figure.

Actually, that's not entirely fair. I'm leaving out key details. I can analyze the dreams easily enough, and they're all about anxiety over my unstable finances. The food thing is probably comfort, with maybe a twinge of loneliness (as eating is so often a social event) feeding back into the comfort need, which would have been triggered by financial worry. My miracle solution, then, was to simply look away from the problem. Three cheers for denial!

In other news, I think I gained four pounds. A less-than-surprising side effect of the "eat more, do less" plan.
  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded