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Ask not whom Ma Bell tolls. It tolls thee.

  • The phone rings.

  • They're looking for someone who isn't here right now.

  • I suggest they try his celphone, but they don't have the number.

  • I have the number stored in my celphone, but don't know where I put it.

  • I pick up the fax line and use it to make my celphone ring.

  • I follow my ears, find the celphone, and use it to retrieve the number for them.
At this moment, I am actively using three telephones to have a single conversation which doesn't even involve me. That's not counting the two phones held by different people that will soon connect as a result of this effort.

"Next time," I think, "I'll let the machine get it."
  • The phone rings again.

  • I ignore my own advice, and answer it.

  • They didn't get through on the celphone, and want to leave a message.

  • Rather than trust a human to write things down, they ask instead that I not answer the phone so they can talk to the machine..
So, here's what I've learned today:
    The phones are taking over. When they make their move, we won't be able to organize against them.
(when such thoughts strike me, it's time to drop everything and go back to sleep)


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 1st, 2002 06:28 am (UTC)
I do adore you.
Apr. 1st, 2002 03:35 pm (UTC)
I'm never sure how to take compliments (especially on April Fools Day!), but you made me smile all morning. That's probably a good thing.
Apr. 1st, 2002 06:41 pm (UTC)
Non, non, c'est poisson d'avril!

besides that, I can't take compliments either, so let's settle for a group hug and move on awkwardly. ...<3
Apr. 2nd, 2002 07:32 am (UTC)
red herring
Man, it's been a long time since my last French class.
    No, no, it's the fish of April!
That can't be right.

Consulting with babel.altavista.com's online translator...
    "Not, not, it is fish of April!"
umm... more research needed.

...okay, got it. More specific explanation of the same tradition.


That was kind of an odd "life imitates art" moment: I'm currently re-reading an old out-of-print and long-forgotten book called "Where were you last Pluterday?" by Paul Van Herk. It chronicles one man's journey to answer a question he has no way of even understanding. This one's strictly comedy, and a much lighter read than the philosophy stuff I usually force on people. Highly recommended if you can find a copy.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


self portrait (escher)
some guy

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