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Now we're cookin'

I decided to get creative with my dinner tonight. You can follow along at home.

We start with a packet of Ramen. "Oriental" flavor seemed like the best way to go tonight, but other flavors are equally valid. Boil some water, throw in the noodles, wait three minutes...

While that's cooking, we break three eggs into a bowl, throw in the flavor packet from that Ramen, and whip it all up into a dubious orange substance.

Noodles done? Great. Strain out all the water, and dump the noodles into the scary bowl along with the rest of it. Spread a little butter all around the pot you just used so nothing sticks, and empty the bowl into it. Cover the pot, and place it atop a low flame. This should ensure our concoction cooks evenly on both sides.

Remove the lid occasionally and peer inside. When the food strikes you as notably taller than when we started, it's more or less safe to eat. I decided to throw some grated cheese in there first, along with a small piece of my thumb. But you may want to skip that last part.

Serves two, apparently. I couldn't finish it.

So, how was it? Hard to say. The texture was quite interesting; more casserole than chow mein. I think I'd like to fry smaller portions over a taller flame, try to make the noodles crunchy. As far as taste, it was surprisingly not disgusting. Again, smaller portions would help here, as I think it grew overwhelming as the meal wore on. More recognizable flavors (chicken, beef, etc. not "oriental") might make the experience more pleasing as well.

This isn't health food, nor can I recommend it in good health. But I'm satisfied that cooking and eating it was a valuable learning experience. And I'm convinced there's potential here. Tweak the recipe a bit, and we'll have something worthwhile.

Next Time: Kraft Macaroni 'n Cheese Omelette!


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 24th, 2002 12:24 pm (UTC)
Maybe I'm just hungry...
But, unlike a lot of concoctions I've heard of/seen from you, that actually sounds really good. Some of my favorite dishes from Chinese restaurants are basically: Noodles, meat and eggs. That sounds like you took out the meat, although if you change the flavor packet, you'd have the flavor of whatever meat you wanted...

Feb. 24th, 2002 03:21 pm (UTC)
Having slept on it...
I think the cheese was a mistake. It did help break things up, but an oyster sauce (like you see on various Meat & Brocoli dishes at a Chinese restaurant) would do the same, and probably compliment the rest of it nicely. That would be added at the end, I think, rather than mixed in with the eggs.

I'm really excited about this Kraft Macaroni 'n Cheese Omelette idea, though. I present it jokingly, but I really think I'm onto something. As with the Ramelette, it'll probably take a few tries before I nail the formula.

And then?
...I'll have another useless skill to amuse myself with.

I don't see myself opening a restaurant, or even impressing girls with this one. There's really no practical reason to pursue it at all.

But that's what makes it art.
Feb. 24th, 2002 03:35 pm (UTC)
You underestimate...
the power of a man that can cook. If you can create dishes that a woman has never seen before, but that tastes good, that is considered an impressive skill in many woman's eyes...

But, that shouldn't be a reason to pursue this art. Just a (hopefully) added bonus.

Feb. 26th, 2002 12:25 am (UTC)
Two birds, one stone.
See "scoring points" reply below.
Feb. 25th, 2002 03:46 pm (UTC)
Ok... This is definately not to my liking... But then again, I'm not a big caserol person. What I thought you were making was a fried noodle combo. You know... scramble the eggs and add the bits to the noodles... that sounds like an interesting combo, especially if you add lots of soy sauce... Yummm.

Now I'm hungry DAMN IT!!!

BTW - Any person who can make edible food can score points with the opposite sex. Males however get more points, since they are more likely to screw it up.
Feb. 25th, 2002 10:29 pm (UTC)
arrogance and posturing
This wasn't so much of either. More it's own substance, really. I was going for something closer to French Toast or even Matzo Brie, but it came out as kind of an abstract meat flavored cake.

From a chef's perspective, I have to say that scrambled eggs are the coward's choice. There's no challenge to it. Granted, that's a step above boiling 'em, but what isn't? They taste good enough, but I was after a higher accomplishment. Have I achieved it? Not yet. But I think it's close.

As for soy sauce, the eggs and noodles aren't strong enough - they'd take on that flavor and produce an overwhelmingly salty experience. Again, no challenge there. Perhaps if you seasoned the eggs with one sauce and the noodles with another before you mixed them, you could have a mingling of tastes as well as textures. That would be more self-contained, where I predict you'd need a very large drink to break up what you described. By all means, try things your way, and don't settle for anything less than exactly what you want. If it comes out the way you expected and you like it, please report back.

I'll break the "opposite sex" reply into a seperate comment, 'cause the conversation is branching.
Feb. 25th, 2002 11:33 pm (UTC)
sexist archtypes
"More likely to screw it up", you say.

It strikes me that the TV chefs who actually pull in an audience these days are disportionately male. Wolfgang Puck? Emeril Lagasse? The Swedish Chef? All male. And that's without even getting into Iron Chef USA, hosted by a certain Mr. William Shatner. (Note the complete absence of any female competitors, by the way) And let's not forget, Jackie Chan played a chef in Mr. Nice Guy. It would be heresy to suggest that William Shatner or Jackie Chan could screw anything up if they wanted to. So, you'd best not go there. =)

Men are expected to run a good Bar-B-Que. I'm not sure where that comes from, but it's definitely lurking in the collective unconscious. Men are expected to take pride in the tradition of cooking hot dogs, sausages, hamburgers, steaks, and chicken on an outdoor grill. And chili, which a man is expected to have his own recipe for, despite no knowledge of cooking. Are these things not edible? According to stereotype, they don't count. It's not cooking, it's just part of what men do.

...and I still haven't gotten to my actual response. One more post.
Feb. 26th, 2002 12:23 am (UTC)
scoring points
I disagree.

It's hard to explain, but it's the difference between magically pulling something out of history for your date vs. simply showing off. One way draws on tradition to give you a place in a larger context, the other portrays you as an amusement which will quickly lose it's novelty.
Wrong though it is, a limited supply of family recipies are worth far more than an unlimited supply of innovations. Ignore all reason and listen to instinct - you'll know I speak truly.

Trust me. I happen to be the foremost expert on artforms that don't make you any more attractive to the opposite sex...
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


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