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...but what do Shellfish aspire to?

She said she likes the fact that I talk about things which might not obviously be of interest to her.

I wish I could think of an example, but I generally figure people can relate any story to a similar experience, so the idea of limiting conversation like that is foreign to me and I wouldn't even notice that I'm not doing it.

But thinking about this later, it occured to me that there's a hole in the "I'm too nice to realize that I respect people" theory. Or, at least an alternate theory presented itself:

Maybe I don't notice that the conversation has veered from someone's accepted range of interests because I'm talking about what I want to talk about, and genuinely don't care what anyone else is interested in.

And that's plausible. After all, what is "selfish" if not "kind of like self"? Self is what Selfish aspires to be. When I see children not sharing their toys, I grumble "amateurs!" under my breath and then refuse to give them the time of day. Sure, I could offer some pointers, bring them up to my level. But it's not about them.

So... Brownie points for insensitivity!
      I can live with that.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 31st, 2002 01:10 pm (UTC)
Shelves is probably too obvious...
Insensitivity of that nature can be taken too far...

It sounds like she was complimenting you for not stereotyping her. You didn't say to yourself "Well, I can tell she's the kind of person who wouldn't be interested in that." But, to prevent that from going too far, you have to be able to look at the person's body language and hear in their voice when the subject has switched to something that they definitely aren't interested in. The dull, lifeless gaze, followed by "uh-huh" repeated at every pause, for instance. Turning up the TV. Grabbing a book and reading it. Little signs that can tell you when you've lost your audience, and need to change gears.

Deals with a person who either can't read or doesn't care about those signs every Wednesday and Saturday...
Jan. 31st, 2002 01:36 pm (UTC)
I didn't think of that?!
Shelves is brilliant. Yay!
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


self portrait (escher)
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