some guy (self) wrote,
some guy

  • Mood:

It's just a lousy sticker!

So, I walk into the DMV, and look at the huge lines all around. I'll never get through this. What I need is a replacement sticker, and I've been through the process before. You wait in the big line until you reach the front, and then they send you to the inventory window, where there was never any line. There's no actual paperwork involved for the month sticker, so I figured I'd skip that first step and cut right to the chase.
    self: I need a new sticker.
    DMV: Stand in that line over there.
    self: They told me to come here.
    DMV: No they didn't. I just watched you walk in.
    self: Be that as it may, I need a new sticker.
    DMV: You need to stand in that line over there.
    self: No I don't.
    DMV: Sir...
    self: You could just give me the sticker.
    DMV: No, sir. I could not.
    self: I'd go away.
    DMV: I appreciate that.
    self: It's in your top righthand drawer.
    DMV: Sir, the line's right over there.
    self: Could you just show me what the sticker looks like?
    DMV: What?
    self: I'll make my own.
    DMV: Sir, you can't do that.
    self: Of course I can. White background, blue text.. It's a common enough typeface.
    DMV: You can't make your own sticker.
    self: I'm telling you, it's easy. Wait here. I'll </i>show</i> you!
    DMV: You'll go to jail. It's illegal to make your own sticker.
    self: Man, censorship is harsh!
    DMV: Yes, sir.
    self: I have the right to express myself, you know.
    DMV: No, sir.
    self: I don't have the right to express myself?
    DMV: No.
    self: Things sure have changed around here.
    DMV: Welcome to the DMV. Now if you'll kindly stand in that line over there, we'll give you your sticker.
    self: Tell you what. Give me the sticker now, and I'll wait in that line to show them that I have it.
    DMV: Sir, that would be a compromise.
    self: I'll... I'll give you a dollar!
    DMV: Thank you. Now, go stand in line.
    self: Okay.
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