April 21st, 2002

self portrait (escher)

Humanity catches up with me, and then falls behind again

Hey. I haven't posted anything publicly in a while. Privately, I've put up quite a few half-finished thoughts that I'll probably explore further and post for you someday, but for all intents and purposes, I haven't posted. Sorry about that.

So, what's been going on?

I'm not sure, really.

I went through a few weeks of just being very hungry for no earthly reason. It didn't seem to matter how much or how often I ate, my body needed more. Now, this is doubly strange because for most of my life, I've experienced no hunger. Meaning, I forget to eat if no one reminds me, sometimes for days.

That same span of time, I had vivid dreams every night and remembered them the next morning. Again, completely abnormal for me. I'm not going to say I never dream, but that's the way it seems from my perspective. If it happens, I don't remember it. Except for recently.

And then, both things stopped.

What changed? Well, I started treating myself as though sick - sleeping more, avoiding heavy activity, and being more diligent about taking my vitamin supplements. If I was actually malnourished and consumed by stress, this would seem to have fixed it.

I like my other theory better, though: I was possessed, and thus eating for two. But then I didn't do anything all week, and thus bored the parasite entity to death.

Of course, now that I am back to normal, I find myself fighting off illness. Go figure.

Actually, that's not entirely fair. I'm leaving out key details. I can analyze the dreams easily enough, and they're all about anxiety over my unstable finances. The food thing is probably comfort, with maybe a twinge of loneliness (as eating is so often a social event) feeding back into the comfort need, which would have been triggered by financial worry. My miracle solution, then, was to simply look away from the problem. Three cheers for denial!

In other news, I think I gained four pounds. A less-than-surprising side effect of the "eat more, do less" plan.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
self portrait (escher)

disturbing 9/11 conspiracy theories - linking to discussion

I lurk quite a lot (and post occasionally) at the NorthernSounds forums - it's basically a users group for some very powerful music software, and it's frequented by most of the developers who produce add-ons for it. It's never been a place to discuss, say, politics and world events, but this week, one of the more prolific developers realized they had a captive audience and a responsiblity to raise questions when events warrant. I have to respect that, as I think it's what celebrity is for.

That being said, I haven't fully processed what he brought up. I'm somewhat in shock, I think, and will draw conclusions when my mind returns to me. But there are a ton of claims that need to be verified. If anything, the facts presented call for us to not take them at face value. They're practically daring us to take a closer look.

Go here and read this.

I apologize if the whole thing's old news. If it isn't yet, it will be as soon as folks start mass e-mailing each other. (such campaigns always backfire, I notice)

I'm not going to disable comments on this post, but I'm not realistically about to do the overwhelming amount of research needed for me to hold an intelligent conversation on the subject right now either. So, umm, have at it. I'll do my best to keep up.
  • Current Mood
    paranoid crackpot