Couldn't find my cellphone. And my jacket had gone missing too. I figured these were probably related, which was good news, my jacket being so much bigger and easier to find than a cellphone. So, I went into the den and looked at the chair I usually leave it on. No sign of it there. Is it on my bed? I've left stranger things there before, but no. I make a run through the house, but find nothing of interest. Did I take it off in my car? I seek out my keys and check. It's not in my car. So, I go back and look at the chair again, squinting this time in case it had phased between dimensions. No luck. Back to the bed, throwing covers to the ground. No jacket there. Put back the covers, check under the bed. Nothing. Another run through the house. The dog looks at me funny. I give up and call my cellphone, hoping the rings will guide me. This is immediately promising, for it turns out the battery wasn't dead this time. The irritating "Fugua" ringtone gets quieter as I pass the bedroom, so I double back and head in. Is it on the bed? Already checked there. Not underneath. It's definitely louder in the closet, though. Progress! It's not on top of the pile of clothing, so I start digging. No treasure to be found, and no jacket there. But I'm close. I know I am. So, I glance up, and it's hanging from a bar on some sort of removable aparatus. The words "coat hanger" drift into my consciousness, but it takes a while for their meaning to sink in. I am utterly dumbfounded.