October 21st, 2000

self portrait (escher)

I dread today.

Today, and it's aftermath. I've put about a solid month's labor into this, and it's going to fail in a very big way. What should have been a positive experience will leave everyone involved bitter. Blame will bounce around like a hot potato. Which brings up the question: where did that analogy come from?

Oh well. Might as well get down there.
  • Current Mood
    gloomy gloomy
self portrait (escher)

Pessimism wins out.

No, seriously. I was afraid today's inevitable disappointment would lead to accusations and defensive retaliation and a whole world of ugliness. I averted that disaster by taking away the disappointment.

How does one do that?

By taking away all hope before things fall apart. I began the day by listing off to my team all the reasons we were doomed to failure. When we failed for those reasons, no one was disappointed. How's that for leadership?

But, isn't that a self fulfilling prophecy?

Not really.

Maybe you could have beat the odds if you thought you could!

No.

But--

No.

Trust me. It was out of our hands.

We failed a whole lot less miserably than I expected. I'm pleased with that.



In other news, I'm horribly sunburnt again.
  • Current Mood
    drained drained
self portrait (escher)

Counting my blessings...

  • The big high-stress projects for other people are all behind me now.

  • I should be able to sleep tonight, instead of staring at the ceiling while I await my impending doom.

  • I've got about a week to work on my one-act before all hell breaks loose again.

  • I have a pretty good idea what distress calls I'll have to deal with in that time, and they're at least people who will pay me for the inconvenience.
Okay, so they're mixed blessings.

They still count.
  • Current Mood
    tired tired