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denying the inevitable

It's been suggested that I should perhaps be more cautious about what I post in public. To which I laughed. My journal's anonymous, after all. What do I have to worry about?

And then I remembered three seperate forums where I'm not anonymous, which link back here in my signature. And since we've established the bosses are spying on people, it seems pretty likely that a five-second google search has already brought 'em here.

Ah well.

I'm actually not hiding anything from them. I'm not volunteering any thoughts or feelings, but that's mostly because I haven't worked them out completely. Here's what I've got so far:

There are days where I am horribly over-worked, and there are days when nobody cares what I'm doing. The latter, I used to spend proactively looking for problems to fix. But then the workplace went virtual, and I lost the ability to see where everyone was struggling. I can't be as involved - it's not possible. I told them that when they made the decision to close the old office. But I also promised to give the arrangement a chance before I quit. Which is where my post yesterday comes in.

I've been feeling restless, like I'm chained to the desk. And now that I'm the only employee left, it's a solitary confinement. I don't have to give that a chance -- I know I can't take it. But there's also an opportunity if you can see past that. With the right technology, it all opens up. I can travel, I can go shopping, I can spend all day at the DMV without disrupting my work schedule or the steady income which goes with it. That has value.

So, I don't enjoy my job anymore. Big deal -- I can reduce it to a minor nuisance. The employers get what they need out of me, I get to pay rent every month, and everybody wins.

At least, that's the theory. We'll get there, though.


self portrait (escher)
some guy

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