amused- co-worker:
If you can make that happen, I'll give you... a hug!
self:
What?
co-worker:
Watch, now he's going to hold me to it. Is that a contract you're typing?
self:
No, I'm solving your problem. See? Problem solved. I was just debating whether to tell you or break it again.
co-worker:
No hug?
- co-worker:
How was your lunch?
self:
I had soup!
co-worker:
Good soup?
self:
Soup-tacular!
- ** co-worker patiently waits for an apology **
self:
That's all I got.
- ** co-worker moves on with their life **
self:
Arrgh! Dammit!
co-worker:
Something obvious?
self:
Soup-er!
co-worker:
...yeah.
self:
I can't believe I said Soup-tacular. I am so lame!
co-worker:
I'll go along with that.
- "I don't mind being the one basket we put all our eggs in. I'm cool with that metaphor. But if you're asking me to juggle those eggs, we have a problem. 'cause I can't juggle. Good basket, bad juggler. You want broken eggs? Great -- I'll make an omelette. What were we talking about?"
- co-worker:
I don't like candy corn!
self:
Hang on, we're about to laugh over this. First, tell me what you actually said, and then I'll tell you what my brain jumbled together.
co-worker:
I said I don't like candy corn!
self:
Really? 'cause, that's what I thought you said.
co-worker:
I've got this song stuck in my head, from Nickelodian. It's about a kid who doesn't like candy corn, so he gives it to his brother.
self:
That's not a kid. Kids don't share. And they like candy corn... That's an alien robot they're singing about.
co-worker:
I don't like candy corn!
self:
I get that.
co-worker:
I know people who don't like candy corn.
self:
Grown-ups, sure. They've moved on to salt. Which makes sense, 'cause it goes with the beer.
co-worker:
This is true. Pretzels and peanuts go great with beer. Candy corn? Not so much.
self:
It's a conflict, but one I'd resolve differently. Lose the beer, keep the candy.
co-worker:
You're not a big beer drinker.
self:
I'm not a beer drinker of any size or stature.
