some guy (self) wrote,
some guy

  • Mood:

mascots in ascots

I'm not sure why people think to eat chili when it's hot outside. Must be the name. "I could sure go for something chilly right now!" But, see, this doesn't fit. It's served hot, and the sensation of eating something spicy, well... it burns.

Whatever the reason, they've been comparing recipes on the radio lately, and it got me craving the stuff. I decided to hit Wendy's for lunch -- theirs is fast, cheap, and tolerable. I place my order, and sit next to the window to watch traffic go by.

For a moment, my vision is blocked by an unusual pedestrian. He's in a Frosty suit. You know, the frozen chocolate drink Wendy's serves? This guy's dressed up as one. Big topheavy costume, complete with giant puffy gloves and shoes.

This is more or less what goes through my mind:
  • In weather like this, it is only sensible to promote your coldest items.

  • It must be even hotter inside the costume.

  • This guy's probably getting minimum wage.

  • My job is better than his.

  • Maybe he's not an employee. I was just assuming he was. But when a new Star Wars film opens, you don't have to pay people to dress up as Stormtroppers -- this could be a fan.

  • I've been to one too many comic-book conventions.

  • I've not been to one as a corporate branded food product.

  • Why don't I own such a costume?
I drove past him on my way out. I waved to acknowledge him. He did not return the gesture. He was standing very still on the corner, perhaps to conserve energy. The costume might as well have been empty.


In related news, there's a giant pink Care Bear handing out flyers on the street near my office. He's been there for months. Each time I walk past him, regardless who I'm walking with, I can count on that person to suggest we commit an act of unspeakable violence against him.

I like to imagine it's not a costume, and that the reason he's been on the street this long is that he's homeless and destitute. In my head, he's a wild animal, with claws and teeth for the hunting.

I try not to make eye contact.
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