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a Modest Proposal

No idea where this disturbing little chain of logic came from. It struck me last night as I was trying to sleep, causing terrible nightmares about the kind of monster who would actually think of such things.

  • If I have many children, I contribute greatly to overpopulation.

  • If I have no children, I make no difference in this regard.

  • If I marry and have no children, I take one potential breeder out of the equation.

  • If I have dozens of children and arrange to render them all sterile, I have potentially removed that many of your children from the equation. And in a relatively non-violent manner, no less.

      I'm not 100% sure on the math, but I think I'd actually help limit population growth more by raising an enormous family.

      Granted, the "neuter my kids" part of the plan would see those children taken immediately by protective services, and rightly so.

      But in the grand scheme of things? That would actually make the whole enterprise a whole lot more cost effective.
That IQ test this morning analyzed my thinking style or something, and labeled me a "Visionary Philosopher." I guess that's one way of putting it. But I have to say, if I heard someone describing ideas like this, that's not the term I'd use to describe them.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 5th, 2004 06:44 am (UTC)
The only thing (besides its inherant creepiness) that gums this up is human nature. Sterile adults find ways to have kids all the time. In vitro stuff, surrogates (which just gets other breeders to breed more) adoption. At least with the adoption option (hey that rhymes), it's not an extra kid, just one moving around.
Feb. 5th, 2004 10:47 am (UTC)
Allowing for adoption actually restores humanity to the scenario. It's still creepy, but less so.

I don't understand how it could be easier to arrange for surrogate parents than it would be to adopt. Nor can I imagine anyone staying in a relationship with someone who would propegate their own genes if they can't bring yours along for the ride. So the appeal of that option is completely foreign to me. But, you're absolutely right that this would happen. Kids do so like defying their parents' values...

As for the rhyme... I got all excited about responding with a "Conjunction Junction" parody, but was pretty much stumped two words later. There's just no third rhyme.

That's going to bug me all day.
Feb. 5th, 2004 10:51 am (UTC)
Unless the implanted child has both parents' genetic makeup, anyway. Has science advanced to that stage? I've lost track of where reality ends and sci-fi begins...
Feb. 5th, 2004 11:00 am (UTC)
According to www.rhymezone.com, "option"'s only rhyme is "adoption" anyway.

That's fine, because if I had cheated like that and found out I was missing some obvious word, I would have been bummed.
Feb. 5th, 2004 11:54 pm (UTC)
Bugfish is right. By the time your children are adults, cloning will be commonplace, so their sterility will not be a factor. Now you can get some sleep -- also, you can rhyme STERILITY and INABILITY.
Feb. 6th, 2004 12:34 pm (UTC)
I can rhyme lots. of things. But I can't make "Adoption Option" match the pattern of "Conjunction Junction, what's your function?" Because, see, that's the only rhyme those words allow.

As for the cloning? They have to make it work before they can make it commonplace. Every cell in the body of a clone born from current medical science would be as old as those in that of the parent, deteriorating at the same rate of decay. So, if the kid even lives long enough to produce another generation, their ability to do so is questionable at best.

In any event, being unable to follow up on one's fiendish plan does not make a person any less fiendish. Failure doesn't equal redemption. It really is the thought that counts.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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