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back at work

Jumping subjects for a moment...

The paper towel dispensor in the kitchen now has a sign posted on it reading:
    Company Property
    Not for personal use!
    Thank you
    the Management.
The boss must have went to dry his hands, found the dispenser empty, and thought it best to deny us the frivolous thrill of cleaning up after ourselves.

Another sensible policy decision.

What to do for lunch... Spaghetti, I guess, unless you guys can think of something messier?

In other news, I was always told that the database here used to make sense, but was jumbled over the years by a series of incompetent admins. Just stumbled across some proof to the contrary - the original designer didn't know what they were doing either.

What else...
    A few months ago, a tragic car accident claimed the life of the nephew of one of our accountants. Everyone had to sign the sympathy card, whether or not they'd ever met her. This lead to a lot of generic messages, as it always does - most of the company goes into autopilot when a card's placed in front of them. My favorite was the hastily scribbled out "Happy birthday!" signature, replaced with "Sorry for your loss." I always write a full paragraph, tailored to the recipient.

    I thought about what I'd say when I came in this morning - I'm basically trying to make it through one day without anyone trying to hug me. Figured I'd leave the card sealed until lunchtime, or save it until I got home. As it turns out, this wasn't an issue - losing my father didn't even warrant the usual empty greeting card.
...though, in their defense? the company can't even afford paper towels.

Ah, Mondays are fun...


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 30th, 2003 01:49 pm (UTC)
Being a paper towel freak, I would have to submit my resignation ASAP.
Jun. 30th, 2003 02:06 pm (UTC)
I may yet. But then, I say that every Monday.
    (technomonkey makes fun of me for it)

That'd be the coolest resignation letter ever, by the way.
I'm just not sure how the "reason for leaving" explanation would go over in later job interviews...
Jun. 30th, 2003 01:54 pm (UTC)
Do you think they suspected someone of taking rolls of paper towels HOME?! jeez, people are silly.
Jun. 30th, 2003 02:11 pm (UTC)
I don't know. There must have been some kind of incident. I'm just having a lot of trouble imagining it.

I mean, we're not talking about rolls of paper towels. These are individual sheets in a hanging wall unit. More trouble than they're worth to transport home, I'd think.
Jun. 30th, 2003 02:19 pm (UTC)
Jun. 30th, 2003 02:18 pm (UTC)
hey there...
Do you feel like it's just better to be at work right now? Or do you need more time? Or is the distraction of work, and a lack of paper towels a better train of thought than other things???

Just hope you're doing what's best for you...if I was there I wouldn't hug you - I'm not a huggy person - but your post about what happened with your dad really had an impact on me. I've been thinking about you a lot and I don't even know you. I also don't know what your relationship was like with your dad. Regardless - it's family.

I hope you are...hmmm...okay doesn't seem right, I wouldn't be okay...but I hope you are finding a way to wake up and face the day.
Jun. 30th, 2003 04:13 pm (UTC)
I feel like I should have stayed home, but for different reasons.

Mom's got too much burden on her right now, fielding all the frantic calls from those who depended on Dad for one thing or another, and trying to make sense of so much important paperwork. Lots of hard decisions to make. And, I can't help with much of that, but I could run interferance with all the stupid little problems that crop up over the course of a day. Except, I'm not there. And for this, I feel guilty. But, there's a paycheck tomorrow, and my soul's all too reasonably priced.

Am I ready to focus on work? It's hard to say. I haven't been as motivated as I ought to be for while now, but I do feel an obligation to finish what I've started. And, it's not like I work at a hospital, or the coroner's office - that'd be awful. I'm just staring at a screen, essentially solving logic puzzles. It's about as emotionally sterile as you can get.

Thing is, I want this project done. Behind me. Over with. I want my freedom back, so I can honor Dad's spirit by pushing forward with my life. To some degree, showing up today was part of the grieving process. I think. Though, it could have been part a growing psychosis - I'm finding it hard to tell those two apart, which probably means I'm not handling it well at all.

More on that in a later post...
Jul. 1st, 2003 07:23 am (UTC)
Re: hey...
Pushing forward with your life would be a good thing. Life's too short to just be stuck in a job or in a place that makes you unhappy. Parent's always want their kids to be happy...

anyhow - I didn't want to pry. Maybe your entries about your dad were private. But when you were talking about paper towels it made me wonder how you were doing. It's good to see you again...
Jul. 1st, 2003 09:34 am (UTC)
Call it a pacing issue. I didn't want more heavy emotional posts right after the other ones, since so many readers do know me in real life, knew my father, and were at the funeral. Making me cry is one thing, but I don't want to drag them through it, at least not constantly.

Although, you're right to look between the lines and see it still there. I'm reacting irrationally to a lot of things which probably wouldn't have bothered me in another time and place - my desperation to be somewhere else translates all input into excuses to storm out of the building.
    I do think the paper towels summed up my experience of coming back to work, though. Here I was, still drenched in reality, and the first thing I see on my return is this corporate delusion - how can this be their priority?

    Probably half the company is related to one another in some way or another, including some parent-child relationships. They're faced with mortality, with the thought of losing each other, and it has no visible effect on them because someone's using all the paper towels, and they must be stopped.

    What's wrong with these people?
Anyway, you're not prying. No worries there...
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )


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