some guy (self) wrote,
some guy
self

  • Mood:

my imaginary girlfriend deserves someone better

    self:
        I hear you've got tickets for Matrix Reloaded tomorrow night?

    cashier:
        We do!

    self:
        10:00?

    cashier:
        We don't have a lot of tickets for that time left.

    self:
        That's fine. I just need two.

    cashier:
        Let me check.. No, we only have one ticket left. I can give you two for the 10:10 showing, though.

    self:
        Y'know, I think she's sleeping with someone else.

    cashier:
        ...what?

    self:
        One ticket will be fine.

    cashier:
        Sir, it's just ten minutes later.

    self:
        No. It's always ten minutes later. This has to stop somewhere.

    cashier:
        So... just the one ticket?

    self:
        Please.

Most of my friends have purchased their tickets to the 10pm showing already. And two of them bought extra tickets, unsure whether their dates would be available that evening. They asked Jason and I to not buy ours yet, as this provided a backup plan if the girls fell through. They'd know by Saturday whether those seats were taken. (We weren't offered anything in exchange for our participation, but this is the level of respect afforded to single guys.)

It was only a few days, so we agreed to do them this favor.

Saturday came and went without a word. Left messages on Sunday, noted idly on Monday that I hadn't heard back from anyone. Today, I made cybervoodoo dolls of those two in photoshop and arranged for horrible things to befall them.

Well, no. I made that last part up. But as I walked up to the box office, I did wish their dates would cancel at the last minute so they could go out-of-pocket and experience the natural consequence of poor communication themselves.

Anyway, one ticket didn't really buy the statement I was going for. So, I just lashed out at the fine institution of dating instead. It was mean-spirited and probably sexist, but at least that cashier will remember me later.

*sigh*

The ticket's yours if you need it, Jason. I've got work in the morning, and this film's bound to come out on video eventually.
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