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good quote day at work

    co-worker:
    If you can make that happen, I'll give you... a hug!

    self:
    What?

    co-worker:
    Watch, now he's going to hold me to it. Is that a contract you're typing?

    self:
    No, I'm solving your problem. See? Problem solved. I was just debating whether to tell you or break it again.

    co-worker:
    No hug?
* * *
    co-worker:
    How was your lunch?

    self:
    I had soup!

    co-worker:
    Good soup?

    self:
    Soup-tacular!

      ** co-worker patiently waits for an apology **

    self:
    That's all I got.

      ** co-worker moves on with their life **

    self:
    Arrgh! Dammit!

    co-worker:
    Something obvious?

    self:
    Soup-er!

    co-worker:
    ...yeah.

    self:
    I can't believe I said Soup-tacular. I am so lame!

    co-worker:
    I'll go along with that.
* * *
    "I don't mind being the one basket we put all our eggs in. I'm cool with that metaphor. But if you're asking me to juggle those eggs, we have a problem. 'cause I can't juggle. Good basket, bad juggler. You want broken eggs? Great -- I'll make an omelette. What were we talking about?"
* * *
    co-worker:
    I don't like candy corn!

    self:
    Hang on, we're about to laugh over this. First, tell me what you actually said, and then I'll tell you what my brain jumbled together.

    co-worker:
    I said I don't like candy corn!

    self:
    Really? 'cause, that's what I thought you said.

    co-worker:
    I've got this song stuck in my head, from Nickelodian. It's about a kid who doesn't like candy corn, so he gives it to his brother.

    self:
    That's not a kid. Kids don't share. And they like candy corn... That's an alien robot they're singing about.

    co-worker:
    I don't like candy corn!

    self:
    I get that.

    co-worker:
    I know people who don't like candy corn.

    self:
    Grown-ups, sure. They've moved on to salt. Which makes sense, 'cause it goes with the beer.

    co-worker:
    This is true. Pretzels and peanuts go great with beer. Candy corn? Not so much.

    self:
    It's a conflict, but one I'd resolve differently. Lose the beer, keep the candy.

    co-worker:
    You're not a big beer drinker.

    self:
    I'm not a beer drinker of any size or stature.

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