self:
Do you have a CD yet?

her:
We do. I don't know if we have one here, though.

self:
I will buy one if you can find it.

her:
I'm just the bass player. I'm not paid to be smart.

self:
...

I've been asked not to blog about work.

Since when do I blog about anything?

My building manager must have fixed the locks today. 'cause, someone destroyed the whole doorknob assembly.

In my last entry, I drew some unpleasant conclusions about a group of people in my parking lot based on circumstantial evidence. It was guilt by association, and I freely admit that, but I couldn't think of an acceptable reason for their behavior.

This morning, it occurs to me that they actually might have been on the same page as myself; upset by recent events and the presence of an outsider among us. Why were they waiting by the illegally parked vehicle? I assumed that one of them owned it, but what if they just wanted it gone? What if they were waiting for their chance to have a word with the owner? Or for a towtruck they had called to come remove it? I would have supported that. They should have said something!

The other side is clearly better organized than my own.

In recent months, a number of cars have been broken into in my apartment's parking lot, including my own. A number of us have become agitated by any sort of odd behaviour in that space -- loitering after hours is particularly frowned upon.

Against this backdrop, a different group has become militant about breaking locks, hinges, and anything else which might otherwise inconvenience their belief in a life without keys. The door from the building into the garage? It won't lock anymore. Nor will the door leading from the garage to the street. For, someone has simply broken their keys in the lock.

Now, probably this has nothing to do with the other thing. My guess is that one of our neighbors has way more tenants in their apartment than they're supposed to. But if they can't trust each other enough to have keys made, and if their guests are willing to vandalize the building to make their lives easier, I'm not going to feel bad about thinking they're the robbers. (I don't care why they're endangering everyone in the building. I just care that they are.)

Tonight brought several recurring themes together. We have a car parked where no car should be parked (meaning, someone who does not live here has turned the lot into an obstacle course), and we have five men standing around that car talking amongst themselves. An informal survey shows them to have been there since 10pm or earlier, and it's almost 1am now. Yet, still they loiter. Suspiciously. As though waiting for a quiet moment to break some windows take a few things.

Again, I don't think they have any intention of coming upstairs to hurt people, but since somebody busted the lock that would prevent this, I have to assume the worst.

So, I called the police. And now I'm waiting up for my phone to ring, 'cause they'll need me to go downstairs and let them into the building.

Best case scenario: Some good people who had a perfectly valid reason to be down there for 3+ hours will have their evening ruined, watch me sic the police on them, and hate me forever.

Worst case scenario: There's a gunfight, somebody's gas tank explodes, and the building falls on us while dinosaurs attack and the earth goes hurling into the sun.

But I suspect it'll be somewhere between there: that the police won't show up, and whatever I was hoping to prevent goes down regardless.


1:40am update:
Police have come and gone. There was nobody in the garage when they arrived, so they took down my info (presumably for reporting a false alarm). I thanked them for their trouble, and apologized for the bother.

*shrug*

I sleep now.

The poster for "Definitely, Maybe" brags that it's from the makers of "Notting Hill" and "Love Actually".

"Notting Hill" was written by Richard Curtis, who wrote and directed "Love Actually". (Richard also wrote "Four Weddings and a Funeral", as well as TV's "Black Adder" and "Mr. Bean". He's one of my favorites.)

"Definitely, Maybe" is written and directed by Adam Brooks (who brought us "Practical Magic" and "Wimbledon"). To my mind, he's a pale imitation. Your mileage may vary.

Now, "the makers of" might be technically accurate -- those three movies were each paid for by the same corporation, after all. But as a branding issue, is it really fair to suggest that the viewer can expect the same level of quality?

Maybe it is. I don't know.

But I still insist that creative teams are neither equivalent nor interchangeable.

If I were Richard Curtis, I would be insulted.

If I were Adam Brooks, I would be insulted.

If I were a movie-going consumer, I would be insulted.

Just sayin'.

Spidey was out on the street again yesterday. I'm told this wasn't his first arrest.

Conversations all day were essentially this:

friend:
Do you know what they arrested him for?

self:
Well, he is a masked vigilante.

friend:
Damn vigilantes.

self:
You know, part of "great responsibility" means letting the police do their job.

friend:
The system works if you let it!

The shame of it all is that this had been my backup plan, should I wake up one morning a fugitive on the run. I figured I'd just put on a silly mask and stand out in front of the Chinese Theatre until the whole thing blows over. I see now that this doesn't grant immunity from the law*.

*(new plan: become immensely rich...)

Exposition:
I work across the street from the Manns Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. There are countless tourists, and a few dozen costumed performers posing in photos for tips with them.


Actual entry:
They just arrested Spider-Man. It took five cops to bring him down, but he was publically unmasked, and shoved in a police car. They're presently questioning Spongebob on the scene.


I am totally kicking myself for not carrying a camera wherever I go, but like I said, there are countless tourists onhand to fill that void. Watch for pictures popping up online in the next hour or two.

-----------

edit:
"This looks like a job for the CBLDF!" might have been a better title. Didn't think of it. Sue me.

edit again:
No sign of the arrest on google yet, but I did find this. And this.

Half asleep, I click on the little search window in my web browser and wait for my fingers to type something interesting.

They don't.

Instead, a voice rises in my throat.

"Truth or dare."

It is a challenge to the universe.

"Truth or dare, Google."

Okay... Not the universe.
It is a challenge to the search engine.

Google, for its part, ignores me. Perhaps because my computer's not equipped for speech recognition. Or perhaps because, in the grand scheme of things, they have better things to do.

Bed time.

I just spent the past hour trying to draw a realistic self-portrait for an online drawing class. It looks nothing like me. I don't think I'll be showing that to you anytime soon.

I haev to say, it took a surprisingly long time to find a mirror I could reference at my desk. Like, three days. It's just not something I've ever shopped for before. They apparently live in the makeup aisle of pharmacies. Among other fanciful inventions I've never laid eyes upon.

In related news, handheld mirrors make your arm hurt after an hour or so. A lot.

Also, waking up at 5am to take your roommate to the airport makes your head hurt after no time at all.

And dreading a long work day apparently makes one show up late for it, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I want to sleep again.

"I need new shoelaces," I thought. And two weeks later, y'know what? I had 'em. Just like that!

Life is wild.

There are days when it's good to be me.

I can't remember any, but I'm still sure that's true. Yay for delusion, huh?

Anyway... If y'all elected to be me this morning, I sincerely apologize. They should have warned you. Come back tomorrow and we'll try to do better?

Left the office at 7:30 last night. Got home at a quarter to midnight. On a good day, my commute's less than two hours. Clearly, this wasn't one of those.

All I can figure is that in a past life, I must have killed a bus driver.

Sorry about that.

It's never what you expect to go missing...

It's raining this morning, so today, "business casual" means two sweaters, a vest, and two jackets. If I could find my gloves, scarf and hat, I'd have donned those as well. I figure the sun'll come out by noon just to spite me, so for the rest of you, you're welcome.

Miraculously, there's not so much traffic, and enough busses to serve everyone. I won't say it's pleasant, but I thought I'd be be entirely miserable by now. It's good to be wrong.

I'm also pleased to confirm that my shoes are relatively water resistant. I somehow managed to avoid this test with my last pair, but they'd not have faired so well. A well justified expense, I'll say.

Anyway, this is my stop. Y'all have a lovely morning!

...no, I suppose I haven't.

I'm sitting in a bar, editing web pages with my phone.

...and then blogging about it.

"World Wide Web" has three syllables.

"WWW" has nine.

That's like the worst acronym ever.

Think about it the next time you hear someone spell out a URL on a TV or radio ad. We could have used any prefix imaginable to identify webservers in a domain, and the standard we settled on is "www" (as opposed to, say, "web").

This offends my sensibilities, and I'm counting on you to avenge them.

Ready?

From now on, "WWW" is voiced; not spelled. It's a long drawling "W" sound.

"WWW" rhymes with "Duh"

We may need T-Shirts and Bumper Stickers to remind people.

As of ninety minutes ago ago, Microsoft discontinued support for Windows 98, 98SE, Windows ME, and Windows XP Service Pack 1, specifically in the area of security updates. It's a scary world out there, and the door's wide open to anyone who hasn't paid their protection money.

Thankfully, third-party solutions such as ZoneAlarm Internet Security Suite are here to fill in the gap, right?

Hey, wait a minute.

I guess ZoneLabs figured it wouldn't be sporting of them to take your subscription money under the circumstances. Too easy. Who wants to get rich that way?


Let it be known: a line has been crossed.